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walk down my memory lane
Lynn Wee I gave out my very first cry on 5th November 1993 Educated in Rosyth Primary[1999-2005] Yuying Secondary School[2006-2009] The Lord is my provider, make him yours as well:D |
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Love
Love suffers long and is kind, Love does not envy Love does not parade itself Love is not puffed up Love does not behave rudely, it does not seek its own, it is not provoked, Love thinks no evil. Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. Love, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endure all things 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love overcomes a multitude of sins tagboard
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I will try.
I dont know why, my heart hurts, it feels heavy, ironically, nothing really happened, nothing bad happened, nothing serious happened. why?It starts to feel lonely, I start to feel pathetic. Each time, tears keep coming, i kept confirming, "Lynn, you're strong, you cannot cry" but, i end up crying more. I dont even know whatever thing led me to breakdown, led to such heartache, led to such lonely feeling in my heart. I dont. I look into the mirror, I smiled, but it didnt smile back, instead, it begin to cry. I tried, tried to get these feelings off my chest, tried to stay happy, tried to feel happy. But, why try? what am i trying to do? Bottling up does no good, and ranting about it doesn't help either. Was pretty hesitant to type and rant about everything. Maybe, i shouldnt. I should be grateful for everything, and everyone around me, for which, I am. I really am, but feeling grateful does not allow you to feel and stay happy, isn't it? Take a look at things from a different angle, at a bigger picture. If, i present everything that i am feeling, all the pathetic emotions in my heart, I'm pretty sure no one, will enjoy spending time with me isn't it? At least, if i dont do that, people around me feel happy, and perhaps, i do have some happy moments. But, at the end of the day, i'm not living in my own world, i'm living with billions and billions of people. Please, allow me to let go now, i promise, i'll try not to show any of this emotions anymore. I will try. will be blogging about grad's, and b'day's pics soon(: meanwhile, MEL, BLESSED BELATED BIRTHDAY! Daddy's little girl.
i have come into a realisation that daddy has made a very big impact in my life.Daddy is important. Daddy is awesome. but sometimes, Daddy can make me worried as well. was about to leave the house to meet the clique, as Daddy took leave, so he is fetching to me serangoon Mrt to meet them:D But, before he fetched me, he went to pluck the papayas that were riped from our papaya tree. so, the papaya tree is really tall. It stood like a high tower infront of us. As usual, daddy would climb onto the flimsy cabinet, than onto the ledge to pluck the papaya. however, things didnt go right this time. when he put the papaya down, and was about to get down, he lost his balance, and fell backwards, saw his head going right down onto the floor. i witnessed the whole incident. there he was, with the back of his head, hitted by the cold concrete floor. i stood riverted to the ground, shocked. than, he sat up, and clunched himself like a bear, with his head burried down. I was really scared, and worried at the same time, i went up to him, asked him if he was alright, and he said to leave him alone, and he sound in great pain. I ran up to my room and cried. I was really afraid. Than, after awhile, i came down to see if he was alright, he came to me, and said we could leave. so i went out, and he started his car. usually, he would wait for the engine to be ready, before he start the car, which is around 5 minutes, but this time, he just reversed out when he on his engine, and just drove. For a moment, i thought that he had gone out in the morning, therefore he doesnt have to warm up the engine. But i was wrong. when we were in the car, he asked these questions: "where are you going?" i replied "how to go there?" i was shocked, as usually he will fetch me there most of the time. "why are you going there?" i replied "where are you going from there?" i replied he repeated all these questions for about 5-6 times. i was helpless, crying all the way as he asked me. Than, he asked me why i was crying, i didnt say anything. than he asked: "why am i not working today?" "what happen just now?" i replied. He repeated these questions for about 2-3 times. than, on the way, he will stop at the bus-stop, and waited there for a long time, before moving on. when i've alighted, i was so worried, i couldn't stop crying, on the way to airport, i kept crying, contacting my father, mother and sister. than, my father answered, and he said he was going to see the doctor. i heaved a sigh of relief. Thank God. he went to see the doc, as he could not remember where he sent me, and where did i do. and he was sent to the hospital, and admitted for one day for observations. so he is resting well in the hospital. he even messaged me that he was fine, and that i eat snake(which is tou lan in dialect), and he said if the hospital dont release him tomorrow morning, he will escape, and even told me his dinner was char kway teow, and it was horrible, but he said he still finished it all as he didnt eat his lunch. He doesn't always mesaage like that, so i asked if he was alright, why is he joking so much. he said, "by the way, who are you?" he was joking, i was worried in the first place. so thank God, everything is fine, he could even joke with my Godfather that thank God the papapyas were fine, and his colleage thought he was stealing other people's papaya. haha! so i took the bus home, by the time, i was in the bus, it was around 10 plus already. so i stood there, and has a feeling someone was looking, so i turned, and saw this guy. He looked scary, and i even told myself, if he alighted the same stop as me, if there was no one else, i would stay at the bus stop till he leaves. so as the bus was approaching the bus-stop, i was leaning out, wanted to get ready to leave, than i saw him taking his things too. so, i leaned back again, than he put his things down. when the bus reached the stop, other passengers alighted, i immediately walked out quickly, and he took his things and left the bus too. I was so afraid that i kept walking at a very fast speed, than i saw his shadow behind mine. (if you know where i stay, the bus stop is very very far away from my house, and it's very dark) i was hoping he would past, but he didnt. he stood beside me, and walked besaide me, and said: him: are you from nanyang poly? me: no him: are you pei fen? me: no him: where do you stay? me: inside, and pointed the direction. him: oh, what's your name? me: lynn him: oh, i'm joey. me: oh. him: can i have your number? me: no him: okay him: can i have your number? we can be friends? me: no him: give me your number la, lets be friends. me: no him: why? me: i'm not very comfortable with this. ( i was so scared i didnt know i said all this) him: okay. Than he left and walk across, he wasnt even living near to where i lived. so scarry! oh my. Thank God, he didnt follow me home, as i was walking so fast like running a marathon. Thank God, continue trusting in the lord, everything is going to be fine! I thank God for putting you in my life(: my blog feels so dead. should start reviving it, perhaps after Os. haha yay! today studying at airport! (: see you guys later! :D Is life really too short to wake up early in the morning with regrets? Than, how should life be? It would not be a life, if there aren't regrets, pain or sufferings-that's what actually builts up a life. That's why, when we die, we proceed on to heaven, where we know the true meaning of life. well, if yesterday's car crash took place, and someone died, i'd die in place of that person. well, if someone commited suicide, and was dead, i rather be the dead one. - perhaps, i'm too afraid to commit into this, not taking any chances that i do not get to experience true life up there. well, if someone died of cancer, i'd definitely be in that person's shoes, experience pain for a few moments, than enjoy life. why? Is it really so hard to take the life of yourself? or, is it so hard just to die at a age of 16 years old? ironic isn't it? people my age, are thinking how to progress on into the future, and what they are going to do in the future. the saying goes, enjoy today, like you have no tomorrow. but, what if you enjoy today, and be painful for the rest of your life? what would life be like than? It isn't about pessimistic isn't it? yeah, this is the way life is, some feel this way, some don't. It is actually how off-putting, how discriminative, how prejudicial this earth is made up off, people made up this earth. How long more can we be gallant, and stark to move on with our lives? It is amazing, how the lord work in ways, we cannot see or imagine. awesome isnt my heavenly father? today, attended church, and pastor Benjamin was preaching, and he said, let this week be, where you experience God be the solution. And, indeed, i've received my solution later on that day. it goes like this(summarised): after church, we walked to marina square from suntec, to have dinner. after dinner, walked towards the bus-stop(kinda far, it moved further down the road, especially when there was a construction site, in preparation for the circle line. we waited for awhile, the bus didnt came, so called my mum, she suggested taking the train, as NDP parade was going on, and there was a massive jam. Therefore, we walked from the bus stop to suntec, than to city hall station, the journey was endless, it was pretty far, till our legs and feet ached, and i had a bruise on my feet(imagine how tiring and exhausting?) So,FINALLY, we reached, and board the train, they left after one stop to change train, so i get to sit down, was so happy! but before i could sit for more than a second, a pregnant lady came in, and she definitely needed it more than me, so i stood up and let her sit. The best thing is, after a stop, a man beside her, got up and left. Initially, i didnt want to sit, as i pointed the seat to her husband, but both husband and wife insisted that i sit, and so, i happily sat, and after a few stops, her husband got a seat too! how awesome is the lord! I truly believe that God has a solution for everything, and do expect to see it happen in your life this week! God bless(: AWESOME! GOD IS AWESOME! went for hillsong concert today-the zone! before that, we were all looking forward, and today is so fun, and exciting! during praise and worship, we keep singing, jumping, shouting and screaming. (clue: it's a remedy for a cheerful lifestyle, and people with insomia) my legs are worn out! but father does miracles! pastor Judah Smith is a great pastor, that ministers really well, especially to the youths huh! and the most awesome thing is? Kelvin, Yu sen, Desmond loh, Zhi hui, Cheryl yuen, and i think Justin too, have received God as their personal saviour! isnt the lord awesome! i know, for sure, God has planted seeds in the rest hearts. and, Ben goy, today's message is for you, and i know, you do know what you want. God is always there for you. i sincerely hope everyone else enjoys themselves today! This is the day, that the lord has made.I will rejoice and be glad in it! oh, and just now, when i was taking the train back, had to change train from the green line, to the red line. As the train for the red line was the last train, everyone else was rushing to board the train. Than, there was this guy, as he was rushing, he drop his badge, he noticed it, but quickly went inside the train. I was behind him, so i picked up the badge, hoping to return it to him, when i see him inside the train. However, when i was in the train, i couldn't find him, not to mention, i couldn't remember how he looked like. so, i help on to the badge, not knowing what to do with it. later on, this guy approach me, and we had this conversation: he: i believe the badge that you're holding belongs to me. me: yeah, i was finding for you, but i couldn't find you, and i cannot remember how you look like either, sorry! he: ya ya, it's okay. at first i thought i drop, than forget it, than i saw you picking it up, so i thought nvm ah, but later i saw you in the train holdning on to it, so i approach you. me: haha, alright. i'm really sorry about it. he: hmm, no ah. anyway, what's your name? me: Lynn. he: oh, okay. you can call me Sam. me: hmm, okay. he: so, you're a student? me: yeah. he: just finish work? me: hmm, no, just came from a concert. he: oh, what concert is that? me: a church concert. he: what is your school? me: yuying secondary he: huh? where is it at? me: its around kovan there. he: i see. so where do you stay? me: err, near ang mo kio he: oh, i stay at braddel! me: (i just smiled at him) he: you have really a soft voice me: hmm, haha. oh my, this is the very first time i engage such a long conversation with a complete stranger, usually i will be afraid, but this time, somehow, he is quite friendly(: and a very outgoing personality!  around 40 people went(: well well well, HAHA. hmm, hmm, hmm, how do i start? Haiyo, i think i've lost touch with blogging. Alright, here i go. oh my oh my! i'm so excited! There are so many things that i'm excited about!
here's a quiz, if you're bored, you can do it! (: 1. do you have any secret?yes, i do. 2.would you fall for a girl who is older than you? HAHA! nope. 3.do you enjoy school? sometimes, it depends on what subjects. 4.what do you do with a billion dollars? hmm hmm hmm, what can i do with it? 5.would you fall for your bestfriend? nah, shouldnt be. 6.which is more blessed?; to love or to be loved? i once heard of this; to love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something, to love and be loved by the same person is everything. both are a blessing, because to give is to recieve. 7.list out four things that you like. sleep, play, hang out with friends, watch tv:D 8.if you have 1 wish, what would it be? the one wish would be; to make my all other wishes come true. 9. is there anything in the world that makes you happy? yes, there should be. 10.whats the most memorable thing that anyone has done for you? clique celebrated my birthday for me. AWESOME! 11.what do you see in yourself in 10 years time? a working lady? 12. who is currently the most important to you? DADDY GOD! 13.what have you regretted most in life, as of now? there are times when i regrett alot, but well, whats done cannot be undone right? 14.is your birthday a holiday? it is for some, but i still have to go to school! 15.your favourite colour is? orange, red, white, navy blue. 16.if you fall in love with two people simitaneously, and both of them does that same for you, who would you pick? i dont think this will happen huh? it would not be true love if you like 2 ppl? i'm not sure. 17.will you forgive & forget a person's gravest mistake? yeah, although it takes time, but we should learn to forgive and forget, as God has forgiven us of all our sins. 18.what do you wanna tell to that someone you like? what if there are many? i'll tell all of them i love them<3 19.what are some things that you don't mind doing? hmm, maybe have a tattoo? HAHA 20. 5 person you've tagged! anyone who is bored! tada, tomorrow, here i come! p.s, kckl wants to paint her toes black! |
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